Sam & Ida Rappaport
Life on Gorham Street
Pop was the boss on Gorham St. It was that simple. He expected that Mom and the children would do the things he wanted done in the way that he wanted them done. Things he wanted done could range from running errands for him to showing proper behavior at the dinner table. And we better not do anything that would cause him to get excited or have him lose his temper. He could be loud, and his yelling was frightening. In his house with his wife and children he was a bully. He ran the house by fear. So, each of us learned not to bother Pop, knew what we could expect from him, and we tried to get along. From time to time he would threaten to get the "strap", which, however, we never saw and don't know if it existed. One of us, though, would be put over his knee occasionally for a potch am toches (slap on the backside).
Physically, Pop stood only about 5'9" or so, but he must have weighed over 240 Ib and he had arms like barrels. He was strong, and to small persons, like his children, he appeared to be a giant, especially when he shouted. He was not tall, but he was physically impressive and powerful.
The weekends were when we all ate together. The meals would be frightening times for the kids. Often Pop would blow up at these meals. We would sit at the table wondering if he was going to blow up, and why, and at whom. He would lose his temper at the simplest things - too much salt in the soup, one of the kids had been out late, a cigar stub of his had been thrown out. Whatever the reason, when he started yelling we would want to get out of there, silently and quickly. Mom was the one who usually took the brunt of his anger, probably because Pop realized that she sided with the kids.
But as we grew up, things began to change little by little. For all his blustering, we began to realize that Pop didn't know everything, and maybe he came to understand that his kids knew a lot more than he did. And while our fear of him may have lessened, he became more intimidated by us. But he remained the bully with Mom.
Pop was the hardest working person we have ever known. He worked long hours at the meat market, and when he was at home he had no time or patience to discuss little things. What was important to him were his job, eating, and money. These were things you didn't joke about. Of course his family and his home were important to him, but it seemed that he expected that Mom would see to it that the home and family were taken care of. He did, of course, have opinions on household or family matters (especially when he disapproved), and he expressed them. He was proud of his family and their achievements, especially the children. He would boast about his children to others, but he had difficulty expressing or showing that pride to them. He might talk to neighbors or customers at the meat market about an honor or award that one of his children had received, but he couldn't tell his child of that pride. Some friends of ours who met Pop or knew him at the market thought that he was a pleasant, friendly man. He could be that at the market, but at home he became the boss, where things were done his way and he didn't have much time for unimportant matters.
It was left to Mom, then, to run the house and to look after the kids. She was loving and affectionate with the kids, and frequently was a screen or shield for the kids in our relations with Pop. Whenever we could we would go to Mom with our problems, and used her to tell Pop, or to ask Pop for things. She was the one we spoke to, she was the one who knew what was going on in our lives. She knew who our friends were, how and what we were doing in school. Pop would be too busy or tired to go to parents' day at school, or some special event that involved one of the kids, so Mom would go. Any life that Mom had was secondary to the lives of her children.
Mom had to run the house on money that Pop gave her, the amount that he thought was needed. To supplement the household budget we took in boarders/roomers. The back bedroom was where the boarders slept. It seems that we always had at least one or two boarders living with us. The money that the roomers paid (for room and board) was used by Mom to help run the house and feed and clothe the family. She didn't have her own personal bank account and/or checking account, there was no secret fund or hidden cookie jar that she had for emergencies or for non-emergencies. Whatever money she had was for a short time only. It was used for current expenses.
One way she had of supplementing her household funds was to sell coal. Coal was the preferred method of home heating in those days. Mom and Pop found customers for coal, and would then buy the coal from one of the coal dealers who would deliver it. It would then be Mom's job to do the collecting from the customers. While most orders for coal were for one-half ton, or one ton, she at times sold coal by the basket, that being the amount that her customers could afford. She stopped selling coal after a while, so she couldn't have made too much from it. She also sold eggs for extra household money. Again, she took the egg orders, and in this case she also delivered the eggs. She didn't do this for long.
It is difficult to remember instances of public affection between Mom and Pop. There aren't memories of them holding hands or kissing. There aren't memories of either of them speak- ing affectionately either to or about the other. They argued at times, and Pop would yell and be violent, but we never saw him strike her or abuse her physically. Pop's life was not an easy one, but he made Mom's life so much more difficult than it had to be.
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